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Jonah's Story

Jonah was an 18 year old senior at La Salle High School. He earned good grades, had many friends, and a lovely girlfriend who he dearly cared for. Jonah has a big and supportive extended family who all still think the world of him. Jonah played volleyball for La Salle, was inducted into the National Honor Society as a 

junior, was a member of Key Club, and played an integral part in campus ministry by attending 

yearly mission trips to eastern Kentucky through the Lasallian Youth Service Immersion Trips 

(LYSIT). He enjoyed playing golf and frisbee golf, hiking, and attending concerts. He had an eclectic 

taste in music and loved the beach. 

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Jonah frequently went out of his way to include everyone - making a point to take underclassmen under his wing, and talk to people who tend to be more on the quiet side.

 

One thing most people did not know about Jonah was that he battled with depression - while he tried counseling, medication, and calling 988, it wasn’t enough. He had struggled much longer and his symptoms were much more severe than anyone had realized. The help couldn’t come fast enough. On December 14, 2024 our sweet boy took his own life. He left several letters for loved ones, and an entire journal he had been writing in for months prior to his death. He asked that his story be shared in the hopes of helping someone going through the same thing - which was just like Jonah, thinking of others even to the end. His last journal entry was some advice for others regarding mental illness, “Catch it early and find stuff that makes you happy. Stay strong and keep going.”

Jonah's Last Journal Entry:

 

The following was written by Jonah, date unknown.

 

Tell My Story

Tell Your Story

 

Catch it before it’s too late from my experience

  • You feel the need to entertain people

  • You feel like just being yourself isn’t enough for anyone

  • You feel that no matter how much you do or how hard you work in life, it’s not enough

  • You feel like you’re in a constant burnout

  • You are dog tired no matter how much sleep you get

  • You feel drained after a day of thinking

  • Just being yourself never feels like an option

  • You feel hopeless

  • The world feels dark

  • You feel constantly disassociated, disconnected or off

  • You feel numb to any emotion

  • Putting on a happy face is impossible

  • You feel like you are living multiple lives depending on who you are around

  • You lose all interest in doing things you once loved

  • You feel like nobody’s first option

  • One moment you are anxious and down, the next you are happy because you try to convince yourself you are ok

  • You are beside yourself from thinking

  • You feel like no one respects you

  • You feel like everyone looks and talks down on you

  • You see no hope in your future

  • You feel like a failure

  • You feel like you let everyone down

  • You feel like no one understands you

  • You have compulsive tendencies

  • You have low self esteem

  • You lack independence

  • You drive dangerously especially speeding or drunk driving

  • You go through the motions of life

  • You’re spread too thin

  • You take everything out on the people you love

  • You are constantly a nervous wreck

  • You believe becoming the person you want to be or the best version of yourself is impossible

  • You always feel cold

  • You feel empty

  • You feel like everyone is against you

  • You hate yourself

  • You have no will to live

  • You feel high strung

  • You get intense FOMO for no reason

  • You don’t feel heard

  • You have a short temper

  • You don’t care about anything

  • You drink to entertain people

  • You black out when you promised yourself you would barely drink

  • You drink to escape your thoughts

  • Your confidence and personality show when you are drunk, and barely show when you’re sober

  • You have week long mental hangovers after drinking

  • You isolate yourself from everyone

  • You never have the energy or never feel like hanging out and talking with people

  • You lie and make excuses to get out of spending time with people

  • Time to yourself is lonely and unenjoyable

 

Suicide timeline from my experience

  • It starts with experiencing any of those symptoms to the point where it is causing serious problems in your life

  • After a long time of that I began to think for hours, I would be oblivious to everything in the moment, except for my thoughts. I would think about what it would be like if I had never existed or how people would react to me committing suicide.

  • With no intention of taking action on my thoughts, I would begin to think about how I would commit su*c!de, I would get adrenaline rushes, sweaty palms, and shaky. But still, I had no intention of doing anything.

  • Still telling myself that I had no intention of doing anything, I then began to research pill combinations that are lethal. I would look up what ways of suicide had the highest success rate. I also researched what the most painless way to go was, which is what kept me from doing it for a while.

  • As it worsened, my depression and anxiety intensified. I then started lying to everyone that supported me through this horrible mental illness, telling them I was okay while I devised a plan.

  • After 1 failed overdose attempt, I went to the mental hospital. I got medicated and went to therapy.

  • I started to get a little better, but life smacked me in the face again and I officially gave up. I bought a shotg0n and when that tri33er is pulled the suffering and awful feelings I have had for so long will finally go away and I will live peacefully with God, Grandpa and Priscilla in Heaven.

 

This is MY experience. A quitter, failure, and coward. Catch it early and find stuff that makes you happy. Stay strong and keep going.

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